How Are You Really?

 Whenever someone says, "Hello," it is usually followed by "How are you?" This is how many of us greet others. I know this is how I greet people usually. Recently at work, I was going to the copier room (you catch that available when you can especially this time of school year!) and one of my coworkers asked me, "How are you?" I said I was doing fine. She stopped and then asked me, "How are you really?" Then I said "I'm hanging in there. It's SOL review time. I'm planning the first few days, then I'll go from there." She said it is that time of year and it's a lot and then said take care 🙏. You see, SOL stands for Standards of Learning and there are certain objectives we have to teach here in Virginia. In other states, they are called something slightly different, but all have the same goal. At the end of the school year, certain grades have to take standardized tests in certain subject areas. I'm so thankful she asked me on that Friday afternoon how I was really. She could see I was tired and in hurry mode. It had been a long week! While I thought I was fine, I knew deep down I was tired and feeling overwhelmed. This message today is a reminder to check in with us. We have to be honest with ourselves and see how we are doing 💜. It's not always easy and it may take us a while before we admit how we're really feeling, but it's worth it. When we can really evaluate and take a close look at where we're at, we can look at those next steps to move us forward. Here's some questions we can ask ourselves to move forward: 

1. How am I feeling right now?- Stop right where you are and acknowledge what you're feeling. Check in with your body. Are you feeling anxious, frustrated, hurt, scared, tired, overwhelmed, content, joyful? Once we pinpoint the feeling, then we need to voice it aloud to a person or God in prayer. Find a person who you can be a safe space and you can be honest about your feelings. We can know God is always safe to go to (Psalm 46:1) 🙏. 

2. Why am I feeling this way?- Did something happen for you to feel this way? Is there a past, present or future event that has you feeling this way? Do you have a lot on the to-do list and trying to cram it all in that day (my case the Friday after school)? Are you trying to figure out how everything is going to get done with little time to do it? Is it "what if" thoughts that keep coming? Did you have a hurtful, concerned or wrong conversation with someone? Did you see a post or comment on social media that bothered you or rubbed you the wrong way?

3. What can I do in this present moment to help work through this feeling? - Think of ways you could feel better and work through your feelings. You could take a break, step outside for fresh air, write your thoughts in a journal or paper, talk to someone, listen to music and exercise- some of my favorite things to do 💚. You could also stop working on the to-do list at a certain point, relax your shoulders, sit up straight, or walk around or stretch for a minute if you've been sitting for a while. Now I realize that depending on what you're doing and where you're at, all of these choices may not be ideal at that particular time. However, we all can say a prayer, sit up straight, stretch, and relax our shoulders for starters. Doing daily self-care is so important 💜. One of the things that keep me calm when I'm at work is playing instrumental jazz music. I play it when my students are working independently or doing group work. The kids have gotten use to it 😊. Every now and then, I play the music when they are entering the classroom hoping to set a good atmosphere. I need to do that more often. I also play the music during my planning time. So, at any given moment, when you step into my classroom, you may just hear some instrumental jazz 😊. I also have to check my posture often. When I get nervous or anxious, I tend to slouch more. I can sit up quick or relax my shoulders when I'm slouching.

4. What can I celebrate and look forward to? We always need to look for the wins that we can celebrate. It's the small wins. It's looking on our day so far and finding something to be thankful for. That Friday after school when I was rushing to make those copies I had already won for the fact that I made it through another week and gave students the best instruction I could👏. As a second year teacher, I am still learning a lot, but I have grown, made so much progress, feel more prepared and more confident than I did in my first year- a win 💜!! I definitely need to pause to celebrate my wins and not rush over them. On May 2nd, my spring semester of classes for my certification program will be done!! That will be a celebration for sure and I will take time to treat myself 😊.

Make sure to always keep those around you that will ask how are you really, encourage you to work through your feelings and celebrate your wins 💝. Until next time, take care and I love y'all 💖!!!