Don't Settle

 At some point in your life, you may have asked the question (or were asked the question): Are you all settled in now? This may have been in reference to moving to a new place, such as a house or dormitory room. You may have also heard it being referred to when someone has a new job. In these cases, the word settle can be defined as taking residence in or to come to rest in. When we settle in somewhere, we become adjusted and acquainted to our surroundings. Settling can be a good thing, but we also don't want to get too comfortable that we are not open to new opportunities or a new way of doing something. We need to remain teachable, keep learning and know there is always more. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us that, "There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven." We don't have to settle for the wrong. We don't have to settle for the wrong attitudes and thought patterns. We don't have to settle for wrong relationships while dating because it seems like no one else will come along and we don't want to be lonely. We don't have to settle with hanging out with a certain group of friends because we don't think we can find anyone else to be our friend. We don't have to do it. I'm constantly reminding myself not to settle because God wants the best for me and I should too. For too long, I settled for wrong relationships when it came to dating. While I haven't dated a lot of guys, I hold tight to the past lessons I learned. A few years ago, there was one relationship in particular that I knew I had no business even opening the door for the possibility of dating the guy. He was tied to a previous relationship, yet I talked to him anyway. I knew I was settling and should not have been. The guy was nice, but had a lot of baggage and was not for me. After about two months, I had to cut that off because I did not have peace about it at all and felt like I was walking on eggshells the whole two months. More specifically, I didn't have God's peace. I remember feeling so bad about letting myself get in that relationship to begin with and feeling shameful. I remember thinking there was no hope for me in dating ever again. Thankfully, I have been able to bounce back, keep healing and move on with God's help. A side note to the ladies: don't settle for just any guy. Check his actions, motives, effort and background. If he is coming into the relationship with baggage from a previous relationship, that is a red flag and should not be ignored. Ask questions and be honest upfront (my mistake for not doing this in the relationship I mentioned earlier). They may be nice, but not for you. Men, the same applies to you about being honest and checking those actions. Not settling doesn't just apply in dating, but it also applies to friendships as well. If they're not treating you right, you don't have to stay in their circle. Everyone deserves to be respected and feel appreciated. If that's not happening, it's time to find a new circle. We all have settled in something. What have you been settling in? What have you been resting in lately? Maybe it is that wrong relationship or friend circle because it is a safe net and you don't know what will happen if you let them go. Maybe you have been resting in wrong attitudes or thought patterns. Maybe you have been resting in the opinions of others or your past mistakes. Whatever you have been settling in, you can choose not to settle for wrong anymore. We can change the course of our thoughts today. We can choose our connections more wisely today. We can choose to rest in God's Word today. We can choose to rest in the fact that God loves us and hasn't left us. As a matter of fact, He never will (Hebrews 13:5)! We can rest in the fact that God has more for us than what we can see right now. We can rest in the fact that God has the absolute best for us. Starting today, we can start settling in the right places with the right people! God bless!