Dear Younger Me...

 Have you ever thought about what you would say to a younger version of you? I think about it a lot, especially since I teach youth. Have you ever looked back at choices you made and wonder what was I thinking? When I look back at a younger version of me, I see that things I thought were SO important back then are not so important now. I look back at wrong choices I made and think that wasn't so smart. I look back and think why did I value people's opinions so much. My younger me made some good choices and some bad choices. I had wrong attitudes, wrong thoughts/mindsets, wrong friendships/relationships, said wrong things and had wrong values. On the other hand, there were good things that happened, good people I connected to, good teaching from my Mom and Dad, and good attitudes I learned to develop. I'm so grateful 💜!! I learned living for God had to be important and not to worry about what people said because I was a Christian and dared to be different. I'm so thankful I was a Christian in my middle school years and beyond because I knew God was there for me and brought me through all the things I went through 🙏. Looking back now, I see all the lessons were for a purpose and now I can share them with others. In today's post, I want to do just that and share advice that I would give my younger self (teenage, 20's, 30's). I have definitely seen myself grow and mature so much over the years and I am grateful 💛!! I hope you are encouraged by the advice share as I use this now 😊.

1. Be yourself. There is only one you and you have to embrace you. Embrace your personality, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and interests. It doesn't matter if no one else enjoys it. There's a chance though someone else does. However, if they don't, know it's okay 😊. Younger me didn't like who she was and often wanted to compare herself with others. Now, every now and then, comparison will try to come back up and test me (reason why I have to pull back from social media and not follow/be friends with everyone on social media). I can proudly say now that I don't just like me, but I love me and I know I have it going on whether anyone tells me or not 💜.  The classy glasses that I started rocking lately has put the icing on the cake 😊. This didn't happen overnight, but with constant affirmations, encouragement from others, and spending time with God daily. I continually remind myself daily to be myself.

2. Cherish every moment and the people you share those moments with. Younger me didn't know that both my wonderful parents would pass away before I turned 40. Younger me didn't know I would lose other wonderful relatives near to my heart- aunts, cousins, uncles and grandparents- before I turned 40. I am so grateful for everyone of them that was in my life. I am grateful for every moment I got to spend with them while they were here 🙏. Younger me would have definitely held them a little tighter in hugs and told them I love them more often. I didn't verbally say "I love you" as much to my people when I was younger. I'm now saying "I love you" to my family and friends every chance I get by way of text, phone call, social media post, or in person. I don't take the hugs, smiles, conversations, visits, or "I love you" for granted. I remember the last time my Mom told me I was a good daughter and I love you (I'm tearing up even as I write!). It was the Wednesday before she passed. My Mom passed on that Saturday of the same week. She was sitting in one of her favorite chairs in our living room. She also gave me my last hug that same day. I will forever hold on to her last "I love you" and hug 💜. My last words to her were "See you later" and "Love you" on the Friday right before she passed. Hold on to your people and don't forget to tell them thank you and you love them. 

3. Not everyone will like you. It's true! No matter how hard you try, you won't please everyone and everyone will not be your friend. It's okay. Younger me wanted to be liked by everyone. Now I know that's not possible and it's okay. I had to learn to find my people and tribe (some found me) who love me for me and I can be myself around. I'm so glad for them 💛! I had to learn to respect and forgive people who did me wrong. Younger me wanted to get back at people and had to learn to forgive. Younger me had to realize that holding grudges wasn't the answer. I learned that people can have their opinion of me and that's their opinion. I can also have my opinion of me and choose to not be defined by their opinion. I'm who God says I am- worthy, accepted, loved, forgiven, valued, beautiful 💕. I've learned to respect everyone, but that everyone doesn't have to be called a friend. For those in my tribe of family and friends, I say thank you for being you and coming through every single time 💜!!

4. You don't have to have a boyfriend or be in the popular crowd to be happy. Growing up, I didn't date much. In fact, my first date was my prom date my junior year of high school. Since then, I've dated a few guys here and there. Younger me saw classmates and friends having boyfriends and felt left out and questioning my beauty. Younger me thought not having a boyfriend meant I wasn't pretty. Not true! I was pretty when I was younger, but didn't fully embrace it and believe it. Younger me also thought being popular would be the best thing ever. Not true either! I saw some classmates who had boyfriends and/or were popular that still weren't happy. I know I'm pretty with or without a boyfriend. I desire to be married one day, but I realize I can be happy and enjoy my single season even when I see couples happy. I've learned being happy comes when you are doing things you enjoy, surrounding yourself with people who genuinely care about your well-being, and making new memories with the life God has given you 💜. 

5. Wear your natural hair out. It's beautiful! Younger me did not like my hair, especially in my elementary and middle school years. I started to like it some in high school and more in college. I had thick hair then and still have thick hair. Now, I love my hair! It went through different stages (like our lives)where it broke and I got it cut short, then it grew back. It was an awkward and rough stage, but I made it through! Praise God for the learning and growing! I am proud to say my hair is now the healthiest it has ever been!! Can we say a win 😊?!! I used to wear my hair in more straighter styles, which is fine. I still do the straighter styles from time to time to do a length check, but lately, I've been rocking more flat twists, braids and curls (or a combination of them 😉). I love it! I am embracing my curls 💛!! I can even do my own twist out style with curls, thanks to one of my beautiful friends who showed me in 2020 when the pandemic first started. I told y'all my tribe knows how to come through!! I am extremely proud that I can!! Younger me also didn't like doing her hair. I get excited when I do my twist out on my hair. Now, as mentioned, I have thick hair. So, I just watch a sermon or a movie and twist my hair away. I still look in amazement at my hair when I do the style like I did that?! Your girl has come a long way 💜. Rock your natural hair and know it's beautiful!!

6. Enjoy life. Be thankful for the life God has given you. You only get one life, so live it well. In order to enjoy life, we have to remember to take care of ourselves. Younger me did go to the doctor's and dentist. Somewhere in my late 20's/early 30's, I fell off going to the doctor as consistently as I should have (the dentist appointments were still consistent throughout). I picked the consistency back up in the 30's and now I'm getting all the checkups in 👏. I'm realizing I don't have to do everything in one day, but to do the best I can and it will be enough. I need to keep giving myself grace and go easy on myself ( I can be my hardest critic!). Explore, travel and have new experiences. Younger me did like to have fun, but I need to remind myself to keep having fun even when life happens. I need to remind myself not to take everything too seriously and sometimes, you have to go with the flow.  Keep taking the pictures and fill up those photo albums. Younger me didn't cherish the family photo albums as much as she does now. I love looking back at the pictures now and am continuing to fill the albums 😊. 

Younger me is proud of the woman I have become and continue to become! I now have the awesome privilege of teaching young people and sharing these pieces of advice with them. I hope you have been helped by some advice shared. Feel free to share in the comments what advice you would give your younger self. You never know who you are helping! Until next time, God bless and take care 💙!!!